budget

Check out this brilliant list of "baby on a budget" things.

gas gas baby

Today I thought that maybe I felt a "flutter" from Kittenheart. My reading keeps saying that a most first time Moms feel movement in the form of flutters for the first time around 16-20 weeks, sometimes earlier and sometimes as late as 22 weeks. (Helpful, huh?) I've been looking forward to this, something else besides barfing and bloating to feel connected, I suppose. Anyway, today I was certain that I felt a flutter but as it turns out, I think it was just gas.

I've also started to be unable to control my burps. For the most part so far it's been fairly discrete. The whole pregnancy process is so attractive.

171 days to go

I have such mixed feelings when I look at that kittenheart ticker on the right side of the page. Some days, when I feel exhausted and sore and nauseous, I feel like it's mocking me. "Only 171 days? Only?? ONLY?!? Shut the eff up, stupid ticker!"

Some days it's "Holy crap... only 171 days, that means LESS THAN 6 months left... SO much to do in only 6 months! Less than 6 months until our lives are completely changed, HOLY. CRAP." Today I'm somewhere in between. A tad anxious about having to be pregnant for so much longer and GET much more puffy and uncomfortable but quite content and grateful about how I feel right now. It was a good day!

crappy laws of parenting

I found this to be exceedingly amusing.

Time for a shotgun wedding, says theknot.com

I am officially angry with the entire "The Bump" and "The Knot" series of websites. I signed up for The stupid Bump's stupid website because they had cool tickers. My friend Jenn used to give me a weekly update comparing the size of her baby to a fruit or vegetable. I thought that was hilarious, so when my time came, I thought why not? Yes, The stupid judgmental Bump has provided me with my adorable kittenheart ticker... and the ability to tell Lowell each week what kind of fruit we're having, but it's also been stupid and judgmental tonight.

It's been such a non-issue in our World that I've forgotten that there are people who exist out there who still truly believe that it's "wrong" to have a baby out of wedlock. Wedlock, how the eff does that term even exist in this day and age? Technology today allows for a Canadian pop songstress to have frozen long haired babies with her 95 year-old husband. And people are upset that couples are conceiving babies when they're *gasp* unwed?

Yes, I understand that marriage signifies a commitment to each other, to the relationship and love you have with your significant other. I'm not saying that I do not believe in marriage, because well, first of all that makes no sense. I'm all for making that commitment when the time is right. Yes, being unmarried technically means that you and your partner might be able to separate or break-up in an easier manner, because legalities don't come into play. It by no means signifies that the couple is less committed to each other. Isn't deciding to have a baby a pretty big commitment?

I'm not going to delve into the subject any further. I would imagine that if you're reading this, you are my friend and we're on a similar page regarding the subject. If you disagree with me, well that's fine too. If you're not my friend and found your way here, that's completely lovely too and I hope you enjoy my rambling rants.

I originally came here to post an entry about how I'm continually astonished every single night at how HUGELY BLOATED my belly gets by the end of the day. Seriously, I'm not actually "showing" that much yet. When I wake up in the morning, I'm sporting a slightly noticeable bump that I can't suck in and when I'm still lying down, it looks almost normal. By the end of the day though? Holy fricken Jesus. People are giving up their seats on public transit for me.

I'm glad it was dark at the wedding I was at this weekend because by the end of the night, I was sporting a real serious gut. I kept boasting about the handy elastic waist of the dress every time I got a compliment. By the end of the night, the elastic waist was feeling corset-like.

Eating 7 slices of pizza when the midnight snack came out probably didn't help. I kept hunting down friends scattered throughout the dance floor and being like "Hey, did you know they brought out pizza? It smells sooooo good. Let's go have some!". Then I would proceed to drag them over to the pizza so that I could grab another slice for myself. What a little piggy. It was a beautiful wedding though. And the first event I've attended where there were lots of friends fussing over my being openly pregnant. 10 years ago, I would have thought that being pregnant at my long-time high school boyfriend's wedding would have been a bizarre ordeal, but in reality, it was a completely lovely night.

So speaking of weddings, let's return to why I am mad at TheKnot.com. Well, when I went to check in on my good friends' wedding page, they wouldn't let me see the page until I completed my profile on the site because I had a profile with their sister site (TheBump.com). Whatever, annoying, but I'll do it. So apparently, if you have a pregnancy profile with The Bump and you visit their wedding site, you're obviously engaged or married! Well, newly engaged, engaged and planning or already married. No other options! I tried to bypass the registration nonsense and it kept throwing me back. I thought, well this is a glitch and tried to skip ahead without choosing any of the options but no, as long as I was signed into The Bump, it kept insisting I complete the stupid form at The Knot. I couldn't view the couple's wedding site until I logged out of the other site and came back as an anonymous non-pregnant out of wedlock person. I find this to be unacceptable. If i didn't like that kittenheart ticker so much, I'd boycott them all together.

Montreal-bound

Five loads of laundry later and now it's time to pack!

Tomorrow morning, Lowell and I are flying to Montreal to attend a wedding. First of two weddings this Summer where I can't indulge in the open bar! B-b-b-bummer! Plus I'm wearing a pair of impossibly painful heels. Ah the price we silly girls pay for vanity.

I have a feeling that my Dr. Scholl's "Fast Flats" will make an appearance early in the night and be a lifesaver.

Also, I tried on my dress tonight and I'm totally stuck in that "Is she chubby... or pregnant?" stage, wah!

psychics or physics

I've been very amused so far by all the articles and books that I've read and how accurate their predictions have been. I guess I shouldn't say "predictions" because it's all based on decades of observation and facts. Regardless, it's very amusing. I remember seeing my Doctor when I was 5 weeks along and she asked "Any morning sickness or nausea?" and I said "Nope!" all proud and smug. She tells me "A lot of women find that it'll start around 6 weeks, but you might be one who never gets it!" What an asshole. 3 days later, at exactly 6 weeks, I woke up to the worst nausea that I. have. ever. experienced.

Now, I grew up as one of those annoying motion sickness kids! Nausea and I go waaaay back! Every time we ever flew anywhere, my Mom stuffed her pockets full of plastic bags like she was walking the dog. I puked in the car, on buses, on trains, especially on planes, a couple of times when we had to take that little rattly bus that takes you from the terminal to the plane... Sometimes I'd puke from the tires swings at the playground. Anyway, nausea and vomiting and I were well-acquainted up until this point in my life. Back in my partying days, I was notorious for having one shot too many, running off to the disgusting club bathroom (or alleyway), puking and then returning to the dance floor for the rest of the night. I tells ya, it was HOT. I should really be ashamed to admit this in a fairly open forum, but I'm secretly proud of this ridiculous ability of my younger self.

Still, morning sickness kicked my ass. It was a mix of the strongest most urgent need to vomit, and vomiting gut-wrenchingly loudly whilst making horrible monster sounds, mixed with an unrelentless all-day sense of nausea that fluctuated from uncomfortable but tolerable to lost at sea in an inflatable raft kill me now please. I never thought it would end, but I survived 8 weeks straight of almost constant nausea and vomiting at least 4 times and as much as 10 times in one day. I was miserable and exhausted but got used to living like that. Then miraculously on exactly Week 14, it went away. Just like the books, the forum mommas, my Doctor and the Internet predicted.

At 12 weeks, sore boobs went away! Or I should say, got slightly better. Slightly less uncomfortable and a whole cup size up already. Just as they predicted! Well, how cool is that?

Next prediction that I'm looking forward to is movement. I think that will be neat and maybe help the whole surreal whirlwind out of body moments.

So the next thing to look forward to was this "increase in energy". I waited and waited for it. It's still not really here, but wait, this week I finally got around to scrubbing out the tub and kitchen sink (neglected for weeks), dusting and vacuuming (neglecting for longer than I can admit) and starting the loads and loads (and loads and loads) of laundry that's been piling up and that I've been refusing to let Lowell do because he won't do it right... So maybe it's sneaking up on me after all! Yay secret energy!

Normally I'm annoyed when I go to put pants in the washing machine and there's junk in the pockets. I've asked Lowell many times to empty his pants pockets before putting them in the laundry pile. He's usually good, but the one time I don't check, there's a napkin bits, a soggy bus transfer and European change floating around in the clean clothes that I then have to wash again.

Between this sentence and the last paragraph, I got up to make a Nutella sandwich and put in an episode of Secret Diary of a Call Girl. I've completely lost my train of thought and forgot where I was headed with this post.

So I end by sharing with you what I found in Lowell's jeans pockets today when I did the laundry: a banana stem and two bus tokens. Normally, I would have gotten mad. Or at least annoyed or grossed out, but it was so fucking weird that he had a banana stem in his pocket that I surprised myself by laughing instead.

The Bump.com is broken!

Well, I just deleted a post about how "thebump.com" appeared to be broken. Their site or server or some such technical jargon is down, causing my tickers to be broken. Instead of my Kittenheart countdown ticker, I'm seeing a mini version of their homepage.

So if you're reading this post and seeing all kinds of craziness on the right hand side and previous entry... it's because of The Bump!

If you're seeing this post and all is well, then good! But I'll still leave the entry up for a while just it case it all crashes again.

Lemon

Fatty

Let's talk about another pregnancy rant/cliché that I initially thought I would never worry about: weight gain. Ergh! According to the ol' books and internet, the "healthy" amount of weight gain in the first trimester is 1 - 4.5lbs. Wait, what??? That's just stupid because I probably gain 1 - 4.5 lbs in any given day!

I vowed I wouldn't care about weight gain. Weight has always been just a number before being knocked up. More important is how you look and feel, blah blah blah yada yada. Most importantly is eating a healthy balanced diet to feed a developing Kittenheart.

Well, anyway, cut to yesterday. I had my 14 week plus one day appointment with my lovely Doctor. We start off the appointment with the usual chat with Nurse Ann. She showed me some new animal photos on her computer, asked me how I was doing (no more morning sickness, yay! Random dizzy spells, boo!), took my blood pressure, off to the bathroom for the requisite peeing in a cup and then oh, right, let's get you to hop up on the scale.

I GAINED 6 FREAKIN' KILOGRAMS SINCE MY LAST VISIT. That is 13.2 lbs... in 5 weeks. 13.2lbs? THIRTEEN POINT TWO? No way! No, that can't be right! My first thought was that Baxter weighs about 13. 2 lbs. (P.S. That is NOT a picture of my cat above!) No way! Let's do it again. Yup, 6kgs. She didn't seem overly concerned as I told her I had been eating well and that my clothes seem to fit fine!

.........And that is the truth, I have been eating healthy foods! I have started Nutrition counselling and everything! But I have also been indulging in horrible dirty fat slob cravings. During my 8 weeks of constant nausea and pukage, one of my only sources of sweet, sweet relief was Dirty McDonald's. I did not tell Nurse Ann about how I've eaten more Big Xtras with cheese in the past 5 weeks than I have in the past.... 5, 10, 15 YEARS. I did not tell Nurse Ann about having had 4 Dirty McMuffins (3 sausage n' egg, 1 bacon n' egg) in the past week. Telling Nurse Ann that my clothes fit fine was also a half-truth. They fit but I haven't been doing up my fly in weeks now. This is when I bother with pants with a fly, generally I've been living in maxi dresses and yoga pants.

I said to Lowell last night after work, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE GAINED 13.2 POUNDS. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!" and he laughed at me. I was waving my Dirty Filet-o-Fish in his face during yet another trip to McDonald's where he graciously escorts me but orders nothing for himself. (Because McDonald's is disguting.)

Anyway, I resolve to be more active and continue to eat well....and give in less often to the junkfood cravings. No more sending Lowell to Metro at midnight for "those chewy chocolate chunk cookies they sell at the bakery section". No more texting Lowell "I can haz cheezburger?" when I know he'll be passing a McDonald's on the way home from a gig. And this is a big one, no more 3-4 Dirty McMuffins a week. My Lovely BFF Annie was like "Why not make a healthy version yourself at home?" What a freakin' genius she is, right? So Lowell was sent to the store for whole wheat english muffins and "good" cheese...not processed. Today I made two, one for each of us for breakfast. I "forgot" that Lowell doesn't like eating a lot first thing in the mornings so I conveniently got to eat his Home McMuffin too.

Oh, I splurged and asked for bacon for the Home McMuffins. Baby steps, my friends, baby steps!