I know I've been whining and complaining about "cabin fever" to my friends lately. Feeling housebound or "prisoner" after Rowen goes to bed every night because Lowell's usually going to gigs around the same time. I suppose it's nice that as a trade off, I have company during the day, when most Mommas are alone with Baby.
As the months wear on though, it's been getting harder and harder.... I find myself feeling antsy watching the sun go down, missing social gatherings and that interaction with friends and just being outdoors at night! Everyone tells you to sleep when the Baby sleeps...but when she's going to bed at 8pm, well, that's hard. I know that I should be sleeping more but I've always had a hard time going to bed before midnight. Or 1 a.m. really.
I know that I should be grateful for every minute I get to spend with Rowen as a little Baby, because she is growing every day. And I know that I should be grateful that she's still consistently sleeping 8-10 hours every night. Believe me, I am SUPER GRATEFUL and feel so lucky about this fact! But even with all this in mind, it's hard to express why sitting quietly at home alone almost every night of the week (sometimes every night of the week actually) can cause so much anxiety. Sometimes I almost wish the Baby would stay up late and keep me company...and I know that's bad.
Anyway, with all that said, tonight Lowell was home for bedtime and I did get to go out for a few hours after I put Rowen down. So what if it was just a walk down the street to Yogurty's by myself because all my friends were either at work or don't live around here? It was still nice to have some ME time.
I look at this photo that Lowell took tonight and I feel just a little bit terrible about those occasional nights that I feel like climbing the walls.... Rowen's so special and lovely and I love reading her favourite Goodnight Moon to her after her bath every night. She has started to help turn the pages and follows along as if she understands the words! She's so adorable and smart and looking at this photo will help me to keep my stupid anxiety in check and just try to appreciate this time...