Friday, September 30, 2011

baby registry

I've been bad at blogging this week. My attention span is non-existent and most of my spare internet time has been devoted to the apartment search (one more month, CRAP!) and baby registry research. It's surprisingly stressful choosing things for Kittenhearts.

I think it's in part to my lack of knowledge and the huuuuuuuge, overwhelming amount of products available. We live in a culture where there are DOZENS of makes and models of fabric slings, of many ranges of prices, to strap a baby to your body. In many parts of the World, Mommas grab a piece of cloth, attach baby to bod and it's done. No one in rural China or Africa is spending $100 on a designer meter of pretty printed fabric.

How do you pick a stroller?! This is something you have to wheel your baby around in so it has to be maneuverable and safe. You have to be seen in public all the time with, it so aesthetics play a (albeit minor) role! Did you know that strollers get stolen?! Because humans are terrible creatures sometimes. So you don't want to be spending a ton of money on your stroller. There are literally hundreds of options available. I would narrow down the the ones that I thought looked decent (non-ugly, reasonably priced, good customer ratings and safety features)... run them by Lowell and then start looking into safety and user reviews. It's really a surprising amount of work! I will be consulting my Momma friends for advice obviously to finish out the registry and list of things we will buy ourselves.

I did finally pick out a stroller, or pardon me, a travel system... which is a carrier/carseat stroller combo. I found another blogger's review of my front runner and while I wish I could say that this photo that she created didn't play a part in my decision....

It totally did.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Bax Love, Lowell Love, Kitten Love (19 weeks and 5 days photos)

Bax is so stinkin' cute we forgot the belly in the first photo.

I've been living in this stripey shirt from H&M Mama lately. It's super comfy but drapes on my body like a giant tent. It makes the ol' belly look far larger than it is! My increasingly awfully curved posture doesn't help the situation because in reality, the belly isn't that big anymore! It's somehow shrinking due to less jiggly bloat and more firm baby.

It blows my mind that one day, sooner than I think, there is a little person who I will love as much as I love Baxter. I explain to Lowell that my Bax-Love is measured on a different scale than Love-love, so it's not a competition.

Example... I love chocolate chip cookies and I also love the colour purple. You can't ask me if I love cookies or purple more because they're measured on a totally different scale. Hence Bax-Love and other-Love. Lowell and Bugdish can be at the top of both their divisions. It just blows my mind that there will be another division soon and another being that will be top ranking. Another little creature that I can tuck under my arm and knows how to conform to my body like a little koala bear! (Bax may be a fatty but we OWN the One-armed Cat Hold! Who needs two hands to hold a cat? Psssshhhhwwwwahh!)

It truly is a life changing experience, having a little human being growing inside you. It's a totally bizarre process that feels long, uncomfortable, painful, disgusting and thoroughly unnatural at times. I'd really like to meet one of those "I loved being pregnant!" type women... because they're f*cked. Please pardon my language. Do no get me wrong though, despite my complaining and despite the fact that I may have never wanted to or planned to experience it - now that it's happening? It's pretty freakin' cool.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Nothing day and I loves it

Today, I've done pretty much nothing and I love it. I worked all week and I'm working 10 hours both days this weekend, so I am not ashamed of hanging around all day catnapping with the cats. Plus I've done 2 loads of laundry and baked some cookies and made a baked potato salad and attempted to scrub the it's not technically nothing.

When Lowell gets home, he's getting a new exciting chore introduced to him. He gets to learn to scrub out the bathtub to my annoyingly specific standards, that lucky boy! I tried to do it and as it turns out, my belly's starting to get in the way and my goddamn fucked up back/sciatic nerve is making it difficult to do repetitive motions while bent over. Bahaha another chore I get to pass off!

If anyone needs me, I shall be laying on the couch with both cats, eating warm chocolate chip cookies and sipping milk (goddamn heartburn) from a wine glass. Bahahaha!

I used to own this awesome totebag with the above picture on it. It was awesome and I loved that bag. if anyone knows where I can find another one or wants to make me one, I'll bake you a million cookies.

19 week and 4 days Ultrasound: It's "most likely" a girl!

Last night as I was falling asleep, I was talking out loud to Kittenheart... sounding like a crazy person, repeatedly telling "it" to "cooperate and show your bum tomorrow". Like a strange little mantra "Cooperate and show your bum tomorrow please cooperate and show your bum tomorrow".

So come "tomorrow" which of course was TODAY, it technically cooperated and showed its bum briefly. Briefly but long enough for the ultrasound technician to label the area "XX". Or "most likely a girl", which were her exact words to us. We saw little fingers and toes, little Kittenheart shoving it's little Kittenhand into her open mouth (very cute), eyes (well, dark spots where the eyes are), spine, ribs, femur and head measurements were taken. One and a half hours and me needing to take two puke breaks later, our tech had to take a break because Kittenheart wouldn't cooperate and let her get all the views of her little heart. Again with being an uncooperative little somersaulting/faceplanting fetus!

Apparently lying on your back with a baby in the belly pressing on your vena cava makes you vomit. Especially when you were already having a reunion with morning sickness. That is why pregnant people are not supposed to lie on their backs.

So today was they day that we found out that we are "most likely" having a daughter in February! Initially I was disappointed with the phrasing of "most likely" but I realize that I'm being irrational. Of course they can't say 100% either way, unless in some cases where they actually see the little penis, etc. And of course, who cares if it's a boy or a girl as long as it's healthy! Part of me is weary of a surprise penis though, so let's not go too overboard with the girly stuff right? Hehe, maybe. We'll see. Boys can wear pink kitty cat onesies just as much as our "most likely" girl is going to wear dinosaur clothes!

Lowell took some videos today but we're dunce parents and forget to get photos this time. So I'll go through the videos and post one soon.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Week 19! Kittenheart is a PRETZEL.

According to good ol', Kittenheart is a freakin' pretzel-baby this week.

In no particular order, Week 19 so far:

-Asthma flaring up. Got an appointment with a respirologist who specializes in pregnant ladies, score! My GP is so awesome for getting me in and I am a big nerd for being excited!

-Pretty sure I felt a flutter! Felt like something gently flicking me in the belly from within. Happened once and then nothing since.

-Puked three times so far. No warning, no nausea before or afterwards though. First time was brushing my teeth before work on Sunday morning. Puked into the sink. Gross. Puked later that day after a nap. Puked yesterday when I was rushing around trying to get out of the house for pre pre-natal yoga tea with Alice.

-Pre-natal yoga class with Alice! Taught by Ann, one of my favourite teachers at The Yoga Sanctuary! Alice is just about 4 weeks more pregnant than me and also unexpectedly pregnant, so it was super neat catching up with her. I also just sent her a link to this blog, so HI ALICE! :D

-Ate too much food from Sunday to Monday night.... (TMI ALERT!!!!!!!!!) I am mildly alarmed that none of it has, *ahem*, come out yet. Constipation, yet another one of the more lovely perks of pregnancy. A dirty mcmuffin, a chicken caesar salad, a slice of pizza, a massive plate of chicken briyani, another caesar salad, an apple with a piece of cheese, a banana, at least 2 bowls of cereal, a yogurt, 6-8 mini caramel coffee cakes, a bunch of almonds, a thing of raspberries, a dim sum lunch, a sushi (nothing raw) dinner, a post-dinner Jr. bacon cheeseburger and frosty from Wendy's, a raspberry linzer tarte and dim sum leftovers... it's all still in there. My theory, I am showing because yes, baby is growing....but I am literally full of crap.

Isn't pregnancy beautiful? Strangely enough I feel great for the most part. And thus concludes tonight's edition of Zoë shares with you more than you ever asked or wanted to know.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

18 weeks and 4 days

So... somehow my 18 weeks and 4 days belly looks smaller in photographs than the 17 week belly.

Don't they always say that black is very "slimming"?

I attribute it to significantly less brunch in the belly.

Signifcantly less brunch... but more cookie! Mmmm chewy peanut butter & nutella chocolate chip cookies. I invented my own recipe last night!

belly touching

Last night, one of the lovely regulars at my Yoga studio work said to me "We just noticed the other night when we were here.... You're pregnant!!" and I said "I am!" and it was neat because it was the first time someone noticed that I was pregnant and declared it to me. Most people can't really tell that I'm knocked up unless I tell them or they already know... or they do that thing where they stare at my belly but don't say anything because they aren't quite sure if maybe I just have a fat gut.

People in general seem to like pregnant people. They seem to have a genuine interest in your bodily functions and then want to touch you. So far, I don't really mind it at all. Surprisingly, I might even like it. I guess even I've always been fascinated even though I never really thought I'd partake in the process. I was a notorious belly-toucher with my friends Jenn and Simone, but I would never touch without asking permission first! Always ask permission first if you don't know the pregnant lady!

If you're reading this Simone, I'm sorry I posted a photo of you without permission. Also, I stole this photo from Sarah W... if she happens to read this too.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Kittenheart Beating and Deep-fried Nutella

I had a check-up today with my Doc. The ol' 4-6 weeks check. Routine stuff, pee in a cup, get on the scale, blood pressure, chit chat test results chit chat blah, get on the table have my belly felt-up/tickled and then the highlight for me personally, listen for the Kittenheart. Lowell's never actually heard the heartbeat before because the tech at the Ultrasound had the sound turned off. I didn't get a chance to record it at my last appointment because I accidently showed up half an hour late. (Pregnancy stupids. Spent weeks thinking that appointment was at 1:30pm... they're always at 1pm)

Anyway, today I arrived nice and early, peed in a cup all by myself before they asked and didn't have too many questions, so we had some extra time. I asked to record a video when we were listening for the Kittenheart:

Kinda the nerdiest video ever, who would've thought I'd become the type to post stuff like this? It's probably less amusing than my drunken karaoke videos of 2004 but definitely cooler. And we're really only listening for the audio as the actual video of my button is pretty boring. Kittenheart!

Oh and p.s. only gained 2lbs this time since the last appointment! Total weight gain so far is 14lbs, which is on the high end of the range but acceptable. Booyahs! And this is with a deep-fried Nutella sandwich with whippy PB consumed in the time frame. I don't eat deep-fried food often, or ever, so it was justifiable due to EXTREME amazingness! I love Murray's indeed.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

HOTmilk? Really?

I came across a line of sexy sexy maternity and nursing lingerie. In my opinion, very overpriced but whatever, it's important to look and feel good yada yada yada..and if sassy lingerie does that for you, cool.

My philosophy is to spend as little money as possible on things that I won't be able to wear when I have to give the rental boobs back, so I won't be spending $90 on frilly fancy lingerie. I would personally rather spend the money on a nice haircut or a massage or perhaps a cute outfit. But even if I felt inclined to blow money on preggo-lingerie, I find the brand name "HOTmilk" to be revolting. I barfed in my mouth a little bit when I read it. HOTMILK? Seriously?? Gross. Are there mommas out there who find this disgusting brand name appealing or am I over reacting? HOTmilk? Seriously?? Gross.

I guess this is what they meant by "emotional rollercoaster caused by hormones"

This is not a strictly pregnancy specific rant.

What the fuck is up with so-called friends lately? I understand we're all busy with life. Work, relationships, this and that. However, If you really want to make an effort, is it really so goddamn hard to hit "reply" and type a few quick lines in an email or send a quick text message back? Heaven forbid anyone actually picks up the phone and has *gasp* voice contact. I know I'm just having a bad night right now and being overly emotional. I have also been guilty of canceling plans lately but I always feel bad about it. Rescheduling is one thing, not giving a supposed friend the time of day or going MIA is another. seriously, what the. fuck. is. up?

I also work and take care of my home and pets and have a relationship and am, oh fucking wiped most days from FUCKING CREATING A LIVING HUMAN BEING INSIDE MY BODY... and yet I make an effort to make time for my friends!! More and more so lately, I find myself feeling positively FOOLISH about the amount of unreciprocated messages that I send out. I respond to Facebook messages even though I hate Facebook. I send texts and BBM messages to try to make plans or just see how a friend is doing. I send emails when I have a few moments to try to keep in touch with those who I may not be able to see on a regular basis.

So what the fuck is up with the massive amounts of texts and emails that I've sent and have, weeks later, received no response from from lately? Is the Internet somehow losing all the correspondence? Are they ALL somehow not going though? Am I really that annoying that no one can spare 30 seconds to respond? What the fuck is up, people?

I have friends who are going through big time drama, raising children, etc etc who I see or keep in tough with on a regular basis!! What is happening in your life that you can't respond to a simple text message or email???

Okay so maybe you have some sort of personal crisis - you're sick, you're moving to the country, you're being evicted, you hate your boss and you're getting fired, but then just let me know. Because I'm apparently a selfish asshole and I care about my friends and I want to know these things are happening in your life., even though you choose to ignore me. Yes, I'm reaching out because I want your support too and to tell you about what's going on with me, so in a sense I guess that is me being self-serving....but aren't I entitled to a little bit of that right now? Fack.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

17 weeks and 4 days pic

I asked Lowell to take some belly photos the other day since we didn't have any yet. This photo was taken at 17 weeks and 4 days plus one huge brunch at Petit Déjeuner. Isn't Baxter soooo stinkin' cute in this shot? He's all "aww mom no smoochin plz".

Well, I technically have one photo that I took of myself in the bathroom weeks ago with my crappy BlackBerry camera, but it's NSFW and I ain't sharin' it with anybody. It was my first "Holy crap I can't suck it in anymore moment".

It's starting to feel slightly less surreal now that I have an ever-slowly-growing baby gut!

Later, I shall post about adventures in shopping for maternity clothes with Lowell's Mom. Did you know that inexpensive, stylish maternity wear exists?? I certainly didn't until yesterday. I'm actually excited to be able to start wearing some of my new clothes soon!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Rental boobs

Today I had to go shopping for a new bra, yet again.

The awesome $6 purple bra that I got from Jacob that seemed impossibly HUGE a few weeks ago was getting too cozy. Plus it's been annoying having only one well-fitting bra in rotation.

I was told by some Momma friends not to bother spending too much money at this point as I'd be going through different sizes every few weeks. I thought this was probably an exaggeration but took that advice to heart. I've been blessed (in my opinion) with fairly small but adequate boobs pre-being knocked up so luckily I haven't had to invest in any heavy-duty maternity e-cup support bras. My main goals were that the bras were comfy, supportive enough (never been an issue for me before) and reasonable non0ugly. Jacob and H&M are good options for inexpensive yet comfortable and reasonably attractive bras.

Anyway. To begin with, I was a 34B. I find that to be a nice respectable size. Not too small (I can't stand push-up or overly padded bras eugh) but small enough that going bra-less in the summer is a lovely option. I managed to stay in my regular bras until about 10 or 11 weeks in, at which point my bras were leaving welts on my skin at the end of the day so I graduated to a 34C. I was pretty proud of myself. I strutted around the apartment announcing to Lowell that we now had 34C boobs. 34C! Bahahaha! Real C cups!! I didn't even care that they were achey and (borderline TMI, but let's face it, this whole entry is bordering on TMI for some folks) well, ITCHY. 34C, bitches BAHAHA!

And then they kept growing. The achiness went away. The itchiness hasn't (I've had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom in public to give 'em a good scratch on more than one occasion). So today, I went to H&M and after pinching literally everyone bra they carried, determined that apparently NON push-up bras don't exist anymore. I managed to find a few non obscenely padded bras in non obscenely hot pink leopard print, grabbed a few sizes and headed to the change rooms. I looked at the selection and was like "Nah, no way your boobs are actually THAT big... these will probably be roomy and not fit!" But fit they did and apparently I've graduated to a 36C now. Bahahaha! 36C!! That is my new Boobies Hi-Score. Bahahaha! BAHAHA!

Much like my alarmingly suddenly "popped" belly though, I'd be content if they just stayed here. I don't want floppity-big boobies!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

belly and general complaints

I've been reading other pregnant lady blogs and everyone is taking photos of their bellies. I haven't done that yet. I guess I should start? I'm jealous of those who claim they didn't start to show until 20-something weeks. I am begining to sport an indeniable "pouf" as Lowell likes to call it. People at work like to point it out everytime they see me and my friend Jody has declared twice (once sober and once not) that she wants to poke my belly. I was snooping someone else's photos and saw a pic of them at 17 weeks and thought "well, she's showing a lot at 17 weeks too! It's not just me!" Then it turns out she was having twins. I am not having twins. Lowell made sure he asked the Ultrasound tech not once, but twice during our 12-week appointment. I just have terrible lazy squishy abs. Damn.

Pertaining to my recent entry about pregnancy-stupids, in the past few weeks, I've sent dozens of emails, mainly to Lowell and Kristin, about apartments or blogs or merchandise that I want to share with them. About half of those times, I get a response back from them that says "Where's the link?" Goddamnit.

My two main complaints this week are the return of morning sickness (I puked in bed into the garbage yesterday, wtf??) and the inability to lie on my stomach anymore. I know it's not the best sleep posture, but I just love it. I can sort of achieve a nice stomach lie if I create a triangle of pillows but then I squish my annoyingly squishy new rental boobs and that's uncomfortable too. As soon as I can in February, I'm just gonna lie there on my stomach no matter how squishy my boobs are. It's going to be fantastic.

Saturday, September 3, 2011


Aha!! I just checked on Google Maps and it turns out, we biked over 12 kms on Wednesday! Not 10!

12kms sounds cooler than 10, right? I am pleased. Now to keep it up.

I won't lie though, I do plan on having an Egg McMuffin tomorrow morning. It's been over two weeks since my last Dirty McMuffin and I'm allowed a stupid fatty incentive for having to work at 8am on the long weekend right?

pregnancy makes you smart. Not.

This whole pregnancy fog or "baby brain" is apparently a real thing. Not an excuse to be forgetful or silly like I often secretly believed when dealing with pregnant co-workers... Example, this one time one female Veterinarian who I used to work with, announced that she was finished our surgery. She proceeded to take off her cap, mask and gloves which confused me as I didn't quite understand this joke that she was committing to. Why was she joking about this? Well, as it turns out she wasn't joking. I pointed out to her that there was still a final layer of stitches to put in and proceeded to get her a new pair or gloves while she scrubbed in again to actually finish the surgery.

Random sidenote, I have worked with a grand total of 5 pregnant Veterinarians and 4 pregnant Vet techs in 3 different clinics over the years.

Anyway, lately I've been doing stupid things. Things that I find absolutely frustrating as I normally have a very low tolerance for stupid. Like forgetting my wallet and not being able to buy dinner at work, or remembering to bring my wallet but forgetting that my debit card was in another purse, or losing my wallet and keys and finding them in my rain boots after 20 minutes of searching the entire apartment and thus being late for work. My main thing has been forgetting basic words. It started a few weeks ago when we were flying to Montreal. At the airport, I saw the PILOT and said to Lowell: "Oh cool. It's the... um... the guy who flies...plane... the um, Air Guy." "Uh, you mean the Pilot?"

Or when trying to express my desire to go to the Thai place that does this crazy yummy pad thai in a CREPE, I asked Lowell if we could go to "that place that does that noodle in the... egg bag". Couldn't remember what CREPE was.

When searching for the TONGS in the kitchen, I searched the usual drawer, searched the utensil drawer, searched the dishwasher and finally announced to Lowell angirly that the "Clippy things for cooking" (couldn't remember the word TONGS) were no where to be found!! I was upset about this.. where could the be??? Lowell came over, opened the dishwasher and they were sitting right there in plain sight. I was pretty annoyed with myself. He was pretty openly smug about the whole situation.

Thursday, September 1, 2011


I made a vow to myself (and Lowell and Kitten baby) that I would be more active and continue to try to eat well. This week, I decided to get back on my bike after weeks (okay, months) of not riding. Check out the picture of my beautiful first "real" non-Craigslist bike that Lowell pretty much bought me last year. (I was supposed to pay him back but I don't remember if I ever did.... oops.)

I've always been absolutely petrified of biking in busy downtown Toronto traffic and apparently, being pregnant has made me even more petrified. Obviously, I always wear a helmet... but wiping out and breaking my limbs is still going to hurt a hell of a lot even if my skull doesn't explode! I refused to go fast as Lowell kept zipping off on his zippy roadbike every time we stopped at a light together. I cruised along but still felt WIPED from the adrenaline rush of biking on Richmond St during rush hour. Blargh! I think I was more exhausted mentally than I was physically from dodging parked delivery trucks, scary pedestrians standing way too far out on the curb, aggressive cyclists zooming by without dinging their bells and unpredictable INSANE drivers.

Biking just over 10 km may not seem like a lot to some people. But when you're slothful and haven't done anything more active than say, walk up a few flights of stairs at your friends 5th floor condo in weeks, 10km is intense! We rode to see an apartment and then to Exhibition Place for my annual trip to The CNE (every year since I was 2 years old!) and home, with tons of aimless walking about all over the CNE grounds in between. My already constantly achey back and gummy out of shape legs were a mess by the time we got home. I had numerous meltdowns throughout the day and had to stop twice to rest (and complain) on the trip home. Shockingly, my legs weren't sore this morning. A christmas miracle!