Today, en route to brunch, I started feeling pukey. A combo of nerves (we were going to announce our news to Lowell's Mum and got a text that his Grandma and twin brother were coming too), the hot sun and lovely pregnancy nausea. Pregnancy nausea or morning sickness which has not yet subsided, contrary to what all the books and websites claim, damnit!
Anyway, I started coughing and gagging on the sidewalk... trying to find a discrete place to vomit, great. I ran ahead to an alleyway/driveway and attempted to puke while Lowell stood watch at the street. I felt too self-conscious because there was a man hovering around behind Lowell so I wound up staggering a few feet ahead to a little grassy-garden area and sat down on the curb. Lowell came to join me and at this point, I noticed the nutty looking bespectacled man had followed him. I fully expected him to just keep walking but he stops in front of us and proceeds to start rambling about how "You can't sit there!! That's property of Toronto Housing blah blah blah crazy man GIBBERISH BLAH BLAH BLAH".
Lowell tells him that I'm not feeling well and we'll be moving along in just a minute. At this point, a normal human would have just moved on, minding his own business. Not this crazy man though. He starts getting in my face, insisting that "You CAN'T SIT THERE... The man who owns that building doesn't like it blah blah blah... YOU CAN'T SIT THERE."
And then I cut him off. I lost it. Raging WHITE HOT HORMONAL ANGER. Humiliation from near-puking in the street and having this crazy asshole come after me and just plain feeling crappy fueled an outburst like nothing I've ever experienced before. Before I could control what was happening, words were flying out of my mouth. MEAN, ANGRY words. Profanity! At a complete stranger! I honestly can't remember what I actually said, but I vaguely recall something along the lines of "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? I'm pregnant and obviously not feeling well, are you SERIOUS" and when crazy persisted with "You can't sit there!!", I cut him off again and YELLED in his face "STOP TALKING TO ME!"
And I went on a tirade. I think I asked him if he had ever been pregnant, or if he was just always fat. I believe I threatened to follow him around and wait until he was sick and then give him a hard time. And everytime he tried to tell me again that I couldn't sit on the curb, I yelled at him to "STOP TALKING TO ME!"
When it was over, after Lowell pulled me away (after I threatened to puke in the Crazy man's grocery buggy), I was teary-eyed and breathing heavy. When I calmed down, it was like coming back from an out of body experience. On one hand, I felt BAD for lashing out at a complete stranger. On the other hand, I was obviously not feeling well and like it or not, pregnancy hormones do insane things to you. I blame it on hormones, feeling crappy and stress boiling over. Poor crazy fat man just happened to be on the wrong end of my lashing out. Lowell says it was awesome and wishes he had taped it. I'm glad he didn't!
It did, however, make for a funny story later at brunch.
Which, I should mention, went very well! We've had much anxiety these past few weeks planning out when and how we should tell Lowell's parents. We hoped that they'd be happy but were afraid that they'd be...mad or disappointed? My friends kept telling me that they'd be happy, but we were still scared and nervous. They took it very well and it was like a huge weight lifted. Lowell's Mom teared up, which made me feel teary. We showed them Kittenheart's photos from the ultrasound. It's so lovely to have it not be a secret and to have others be excited! Lowell's Grandma told us that she'd be "grinning all day", which was so lovely.
As we were leaving the restaurant, there was a man sitting on the ledge outside an office building. Lowell's adorable little Grandma made a crack about how someone should tell him he couldn't sit there.