Fatty

Let's talk about another pregnancy rant/cliché that I initially thought I would never worry about: weight gain. Ergh! According to the ol' books and internet, the "healthy" amount of weight gain in the first trimester is 1 - 4.5lbs. Wait, what??? That's just stupid because I probably gain 1 - 4.5 lbs in any given day!

I vowed I wouldn't care about weight gain. Weight has always been just a number before being knocked up. More important is how you look and feel, blah blah blah yada yada. Most importantly is eating a healthy balanced diet to feed a developing Kittenheart.

Well, anyway, cut to yesterday. I had my 14 week plus one day appointment with my lovely Doctor. We start off the appointment with the usual chat with Nurse Ann. She showed me some new animal photos on her computer, asked me how I was doing (no more morning sickness, yay! Random dizzy spells, boo!), took my blood pressure, off to the bathroom for the requisite peeing in a cup and then oh, right, let's get you to hop up on the scale.

I GAINED 6 FREAKIN' KILOGRAMS SINCE MY LAST VISIT. That is 13.2 lbs... in 5 weeks. 13.2lbs? THIRTEEN POINT TWO? No way! No, that can't be right! My first thought was that Baxter weighs about 13. 2 lbs. (P.S. That is NOT a picture of my cat above!) No way! Let's do it again. Yup, 6kgs. She didn't seem overly concerned as I told her I had been eating well and that my clothes seem to fit fine!

.........And that is the truth, I have been eating healthy foods! I have started Nutrition counselling and everything! But I have also been indulging in horrible dirty fat slob cravings. During my 8 weeks of constant nausea and pukage, one of my only sources of sweet, sweet relief was Dirty McDonald's. I did not tell Nurse Ann about how I've eaten more Big Xtras with cheese in the past 5 weeks than I have in the past.... 5, 10, 15 YEARS. I did not tell Nurse Ann about having had 4 Dirty McMuffins (3 sausage n' egg, 1 bacon n' egg) in the past week. Telling Nurse Ann that my clothes fit fine was also a half-truth. They fit but I haven't been doing up my fly in weeks now. This is when I bother with pants with a fly, generally I've been living in maxi dresses and yoga pants.

I said to Lowell last night after work, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE GAINED 13.2 POUNDS. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!" and he laughed at me. I was waving my Dirty Filet-o-Fish in his face during yet another trip to McDonald's where he graciously escorts me but orders nothing for himself. (Because McDonald's is disguting.)

Anyway, I resolve to be more active and continue to eat well....and give in less often to the junkfood cravings. No more sending Lowell to Metro at midnight for "those chewy chocolate chunk cookies they sell at the bakery section". No more texting Lowell "I can haz cheezburger?" when I know he'll be passing a McDonald's on the way home from a gig. And this is a big one, no more 3-4 Dirty McMuffins a week. My Lovely BFF Annie was like "Why not make a healthy version yourself at home?" What a freakin' genius she is, right? So Lowell was sent to the store for whole wheat english muffins and "good" cheese...not processed. Today I made two, one for each of us for breakfast. I "forgot" that Lowell doesn't like eating a lot first thing in the mornings so I conveniently got to eat his Home McMuffin too.

Oh, I splurged and asked for bacon for the Home McMuffins. Baby steps, my friends, baby steps!