Monday, August 22, 2011

Time for a shotgun wedding, says

I am officially angry with the entire "The Bump" and "The Knot" series of websites. I signed up for The stupid Bump's stupid website because they had cool tickers. My friend Jenn used to give me a weekly update comparing the size of her baby to a fruit or vegetable. I thought that was hilarious, so when my time came, I thought why not? Yes, The stupid judgmental Bump has provided me with my adorable kittenheart ticker... and the ability to tell Lowell each week what kind of fruit we're having, but it's also been stupid and judgmental tonight.

It's been such a non-issue in our World that I've forgotten that there are people who exist out there who still truly believe that it's "wrong" to have a baby out of wedlock. Wedlock, how the eff does that term even exist in this day and age? Technology today allows for a Canadian pop songstress to have frozen long haired babies with her 95 year-old husband. And people are upset that couples are conceiving babies when they're *gasp* unwed?

Yes, I understand that marriage signifies a commitment to each other, to the relationship and love you have with your significant other. I'm not saying that I do not believe in marriage, because well, first of all that makes no sense. I'm all for making that commitment when the time is right. Yes, being unmarried technically means that you and your partner might be able to separate or break-up in an easier manner, because legalities don't come into play. It by no means signifies that the couple is less committed to each other. Isn't deciding to have a baby a pretty big commitment?

I'm not going to delve into the subject any further. I would imagine that if you're reading this, you are my friend and we're on a similar page regarding the subject. If you disagree with me, well that's fine too. If you're not my friend and found your way here, that's completely lovely too and I hope you enjoy my rambling rants.

I originally came here to post an entry about how I'm continually astonished every single night at how HUGELY BLOATED my belly gets by the end of the day. Seriously, I'm not actually "showing" that much yet. When I wake up in the morning, I'm sporting a slightly noticeable bump that I can't suck in and when I'm still lying down, it looks almost normal. By the end of the day though? Holy fricken Jesus. People are giving up their seats on public transit for me.

I'm glad it was dark at the wedding I was at this weekend because by the end of the night, I was sporting a real serious gut. I kept boasting about the handy elastic waist of the dress every time I got a compliment. By the end of the night, the elastic waist was feeling corset-like.

Eating 7 slices of pizza when the midnight snack came out probably didn't help. I kept hunting down friends scattered throughout the dance floor and being like "Hey, did you know they brought out pizza? It smells sooooo good. Let's go have some!". Then I would proceed to drag them over to the pizza so that I could grab another slice for myself. What a little piggy. It was a beautiful wedding though. And the first event I've attended where there were lots of friends fussing over my being openly pregnant. 10 years ago, I would have thought that being pregnant at my long-time high school boyfriend's wedding would have been a bizarre ordeal, but in reality, it was a completely lovely night.

So speaking of weddings, let's return to why I am mad at Well, when I went to check in on my good friends' wedding page, they wouldn't let me see the page until I completed my profile on the site because I had a profile with their sister site ( Whatever, annoying, but I'll do it. So apparently, if you have a pregnancy profile with The Bump and you visit their wedding site, you're obviously engaged or married! Well, newly engaged, engaged and planning or already married. No other options! I tried to bypass the registration nonsense and it kept throwing me back. I thought, well this is a glitch and tried to skip ahead without choosing any of the options but no, as long as I was signed into The Bump, it kept insisting I complete the stupid form at The Knot. I couldn't view the couple's wedding site until I logged out of the other site and came back as an anonymous non-pregnant out of wedlock person. I find this to be unacceptable. If i didn't like that kittenheart ticker so much, I'd boycott them all together.

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